When the doctor came in I couldn't believe it was really time to push. I remembering questioning the team really asking if now was the time? The baby would be here soon and our lives would completely change. We had waited for nine months for this moment, gone through excruxiation pain and now was the time for pushing. I think I wanted to hear music or angels singing or something, but none of that happened.
Brent was beside me helping me hold my legs up and I was supposed to push with each contraction. Now the epidural had kicked in becuase I could barely feel the contractions. It was a weird feeling becuase now the team was asking me when to push. I would tell them that a contraction was coming and they would look up on the monitor and confirm, I think I'd know better than them.
The first couple pushes I didnt' feel like I was doing anything. I don't think I was pushing correctly either becuase Dr. Chelu kept telling me that I had to hold my breath like I was swimming under water. Also she said that we had to get the baby out fast becuase of my bleeding and the lowered heart rate. If the baby didn't come out naturally they were going to use the vaccumm. When I heard that my initial reaction was, "like hell you will". Do people actually still use those things?
It was time to push again - count to 10 and push for three rounds, was the dance we did. For the first two rounds Brent was right there beside me. But then I guess he caught a glimpse of the blood and started to get woozy. All I heard from the nurses was "you may want to sit down", "there are a lot of sharp corners that'll break your head open" and "are you feeling alright".
The last two pushes Brent wasn't beside me, I dind't care. I knew I could get throught this pushing act myself. But to his credit from his little bench in the corner he was counting with the rest of the team to ten. Only two more rounds of pusing and the baby was here. I remember the feeling of him coming out one big movement and he was here in this world. He didn't cry or anything but he looked big. The first think I saw were his legs, butt and then scrotum- yup he was a he.
They quickly let me hold him and the first thing I thought was "eww he's really slimey" then after a quick minute of saying hi he was wisked away and cleaned up. Brent was quickly in the other room with the clea up team taking pictures and chatting it up and asking lots of questions. We have good photos and footage of that. That was when I realized that it was no longer about me it was all about the baby.
The time it took them to clean up the baby seemed like an eternity I so wanted to hold him again and get to know him. But he finally made it back to me and he was mine. He was so cute and alert I couldn't believe it. Brown eyes, lots of black hair, cute little fingers and a scrunched up face. The pushing was only 20 mintues and it went by very quickly. I can't believe my pregnancy was over and our family was finally here.
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